I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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