Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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