Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
