Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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