I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize