I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
