Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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