i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
