My hand turned me down
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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