Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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