I am spending my child support on dildos
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
