god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
