i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The adults are the big ones right?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
