remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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