he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We have so much sex to catch up on
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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