vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
