Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
