is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
