i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
