Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
