Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
