we're blogging at a bar
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
