My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
