Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
