So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i will never coherently bang her
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
