thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
