I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
