I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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