My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
