Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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