Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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