Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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