I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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