Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize