My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
