How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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