He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize