You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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