If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
