i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
