I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
