Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
