she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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