in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize