she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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