and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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