Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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