I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I woke up under a house in Key West
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
