Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
