we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
