did you get engaged???
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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