I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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