Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
