I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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