After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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