apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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