it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
