Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
