If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize