Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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