It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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