i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
