Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
